No 56 



Hatching the Lucky 

Egg 



Humorous play for 
2 male and 2 female characters 


by 


E. J. FREUND 


No plays exchanged 



Antigo Publishing Company 

Antigo. Wia. 

Copyright 1920 by Antigo Publishing Company 



DEC 20 l^a 



No 56 



Hatching the Lucky 
Egg 



Humorous play for 
2 male and 2 female characters 

by 
E. J. FREUND 



No plays exchanged 



Antigo Publishing Company 

Antigo, Wis. 

Copyright 1920 by Antigo Publishing Company 






Hatching the Lucky Egg 



Cast: 

Sam, a portly, not very bright farmer 
Gertie, his wife, fleshy and superstitious 
John, farm hand, brave and bright 
Gr.ypsy girl, dresse dlike a Gypsy, full of 
pep, foxy 

Scene: 

Family room of a farm house, untidy, with 
hay or straw stalks on floor 

Accessories: 

Porcelain nestegg, other eggs, a course 
stick, a stocking filled with coins to resemble 
money, table with drawer, old book, switch 
of willows, or similar wood, handbag 

Entrance right and left 



T^1P92^009307 
©CI.D 56314 



Hatching the Lucky Egg 

GJ'ypsy (sneaks in, putting e^^s into bag). I 
found these in the hen's coop alright enough — 
a whole nest full, and took all, the nestegg 
in addition .... Our band will have a nice 
mess of scrambled eggs, I'm sure. Now I'd 
like to know where he keeps his moneybag 
(advances towards table, when John enters, 
she turns completely about, looking innocent). 

John (enters with stick in hand, aside). What 
the dickens is she doing in here? Looks to 
me like a Gypsy hag. Likely trying to hook 
things (loud.) Hey, hussey! Are you look- 
ing for the boss? 

Grypsy (playing charming innocence). Hello, 
Charley, or John, or Jack, whatever you 
like .... I was just trying to ask somebody if 
I am right here. 

John. No, you are not right here, you're wrong, 
entirely out of your proper place. How did 
you get in here? 

Grypsy (light-heartedly). I walked in. 

John. Walked in, eh? A most sensible thing 
to do when nobody is around (steps closer). 
What have you got in that bag? 



Grypsy (turning away, holding bag aloft). A 
secret of mine, a real secret. You must not 
look in the bag or you'll spoil everything. 
I'll tell you later (pushes him away). I am 
as honest as a spring chicken. 

Johu. Ah, I understand, a spring chicken 
scratching in the neighbors garden. You 
look it, too. Show me what you have in 
that bag, or I'll make things hiss here 

Gryps.y. Take me for a jackdaw, eh? (takes por- 
celain nestegg from bag.) This here is no 
common egg like hens are laying. No hen 
ever laid this one, mark you. It is (talks in 
low voice.) I must not say it loud for it might 
spoil the charm — it is a lucky egg^ for it 
can make him who owns it very rich. There 
is a magic charm in it. If you owned an egg 
like this you could eat roast pig and drink 
wine every day of your life. To be rich, 
man, do you know how that feels? Well, 
you'll know it the moment you buy one of 
these lucky eggs I hold in my bag. Only a 
dollar, sir, just one dollar (offers egg to him). 

John. Nope. I don't care to be rich. I know 
that one dollar in my pocket is better than 
ten in yours, and that's all I care for just 
now. 

Grypsy (flatteringly). Don't talk like a siss3\ 



If you can add one hundred thousand dollars^ 
to that one dollar in your pocket in less time 
than it takes to tell you, if you would spend 
that one dollar. . . . wouldn't you be a dunce 
if you didn't do it? — (steps up to him). Let 
me tell your fortune (grabs his hand). 

John (pulls his hand back). I can do that my- 
self. You're after that fortune of one dollar 
in my pocket. Now isn't that so? 

Gypsy. No, it isn't. Let me see your palm 
and I'll tell you if you'll be rich some day 
and what kind of a wife you'll have (again 
reaches for his hand). 

John (pulls hand back). I don't care to know 
if I'll be rich or not as long as I know that I 
am not. And as to my wife, I know more 
about her than I care to know. 

Gypsy. What, are you a married man? 

John. Didn't you know that? See, what you 
know about things you don't know! 

Gypsy. I didn't claim that I am all-knowing. 
I only know the things about you that I read 
off your hand. 

John. Can't you read from my nose? It is right 
there in my face and visible for everybody. 

Gypsy. There's nothing interesting about that 
canthook of a nose in your face, you smarty. 
Now what are you doing today ? Are you 



haying? I can make nice haying weather for 
you just for a couple dollars. Put 'er there 
and I'll let you have your choice (extends 
hand). 

John (puts hand to his mouth as tho extracting 
something from it). Here is my chew (puts 
his hand in hers). There is more juice in it than 
in my hand, so you may tell my fortune for it. 

Crypsy (throwing thing at his face). Ah, get 
away, you sheepshead. — Now if you don't 
care for the weather, maybe you've got a 
sweetheart who doesn't care for you. 1 can 
make her love you sincerely and faithfully — 
for just two measly dollars (extends other 
hand). 

John. Naw, I've got all sorts of girls that love 
me more'n I care for. I wouldn't spend a 
nickle for more love. 

Gypsy. Well, if that's so, you're an unlucky 
chap. — Now maybe there is a hidden treas- 
ure somewhere in your house or in your field 
and you don't know it. I can tell you where 
you can find it for three dollars, that's all. 

John. Now 3^ou are hitting me, and right hard 
at that, too. A treasure I have hidden some- 
where, but you certainly do not know -it. 

Oypsy. I bet you I do. Give me three dollars 
and I'll tell you. 



John. You can have the three dollars as soon 
as you tell me how big a treasure it is. 

Gypsy. It is as big as a cow, you silly, 

John. Ah, gowan. You don't know beans. 
You even haven't got the brains of our one- 
lobed white hen for she knows when it's time 
to roost. You skidoo now. 

Gypsy (threateningly). Say, Mister! You 

don't know who I am. I am a mighty sor- 
ceress and can do very bad things to you if 
you don't look out (extending hand.) Give 
me fifty cents and I'll go. 

John. Do bad things to me, eh? So can I. I 
am able to wallup your back with this stick 
(raises stick) until you don't care for my 
money any longer. Want me to tell your 
fortune with this? I'll do it for much less 
than a dollar, too (threatens to strike her. 
Gypsy vanishes thru right entrance). There, 
that fixes her all right. I am sure if Sam, 
the boss, had been in my place, he would 
have galped all she said and given her money 
besides, for he is covetous of big riches. It's 
a good thing she is gone (exit left). 

Sam (enters, followed by Gertie; Sam holds a 
swelled stocking in hand, empties it on table 
and counts coins, adding like to like in piles. 
While he is doing this, Gypsy puts head in 
thru left door and watches him). 



*Sam (counting) nine — ten — twenty — thirty — 
fifty— hundred— two hundred — three hundred 
and fifty, it's all here, Gertie. Nice money, 
fine money, much money, fair money: my 
money! I won't put it in the bank, for 
banks fail every other day; I'll put it into 
my stocking, then I'll know where to get it 
when I want it. 

Oertie. But, Sam, I believe it would be safer 
to put it in the bank. Some sneak thief may 
ransack the house while we're away, and all 
our nice money would be lost. 

Sam. Ah no, I'll take good care of it — no thief 
will ever find it. 

Oertie. There is no telling — only last night I 
dreamt of fire; I saw little flames of red hot 
fire. 

Sam. Where did you see it, in the room or out-* 
side the houseV 

Oertie. No, is was in the basement. 

Sam (startled). In the basement, you say? I 
wouldn't wonder if a treasure is hidden some- 
where in the basement, for that is what a 
dream like that means. In what corner did 
you notice the fire? 

Oertie. I'm not sure about that. That part of 
my dream is misty. 

Sam. Now look what you've done? You might 



just as well have seen the very place where 
to find it. If you're dreaming, why don't 
you have a decent dream? 

Gertie. Do you really believe there is a treasure 
hidden somewhere? 

Sam. Most certainly. For that's what my 
Dream Book says. Now we don't know where 
to look for it. 

Gertie. I'll find it, Sam, don't you worry. I'll 
dig- for it until I've found it. I think I'll 
start digging in the pigsty. 

Gypsy (draws head back and vanishes). 

Sam. Dig in any likely place. And I'll put 
this bag away and after that shall help you 
dig (starts putting coins back into bag). 

Gertie. Very well. I'll go and get two spades 
for us (exit right). 

Gypsy (enters left, switch in hand, whiningly). 
Oh dear! Oh dear! How bad some people 
will treat a lady! I hope you're not like the 
rest of them. People are praising you, say- 
ing what a gentleman Sam is! 

Sam (who has shown fright at her appearance, 
ties bag). Well, I should say so . . . should 
s?iy so. 

Gypsy. And that you're such a very rich man, 
not knowing how much money you own (at 
this, Sam pushes stocking into drawer and 



10 

protects drawer with his rear), and how lucky 
you have always been in acquiring money. 

Sam. What do you want? Speak it right out. 

Gypsy (with low voice.) I came here to tell you 
great news:— there is a treasure hidden in 
your soil— gold, gold! Red hot gold, and 
silver snowy white — a lot of it. 

Sam (startled). You don't say so. Gold, and 
silver? A real treasure? 

Gypsy. A treasure, I tell you, a treasure as 
big as there ever has been found . . . See, 
how my switch bends and stirs. A sure in- 
dication that there is valuable coin hidden 
somewhere near us. 

Sam (with great agility). Where may it be? 
where do you suppose it is? I have always 
thought so, but where is it? 

Gypsy (draws old book from pocket and turns 
leaves over). Here is where it says so: a treas- 
ure hidden in the time of the Civil war. 

Sam. What kind of a book is it? Where did 
you get it ? 

Gypsy. Easy. Don't ask too many questions 
at a time. It is a fortune teller's book fallen 
from the skies. 

Sam. Ah, I see. That's why so many good 
things are written in it. What does it say 
about my hidden treasure? 



11 

Gypsy (turns leaves). I'll tell you presently . . 
Here it says, the treasure may be lifted on 
certain conditions. In the first place a magic 
charm has to be taken off so nobody gets hurt. 

Sam (aghast). Is it dangerous? What is there 
to be done? 

Gypsy. You can't do anything. The charm has 
to be annulled by a person who knows how. 
But there is one great obstacle in the way. 
Your money in that drawer and this treasure 
won't agree, one will eat the other up if the 
magic isn't broken in a proper way. A cer- 
tain sign has to be made on your money 
stocking so it is safe from destruction. 

Sam. If it is that bad I think I'll not lift the 
treasure. 

Gypsy. It is quite easy for the person who 
knows. Hand me your money stocking from 
the drawer. I'll make the sign over it and 
nothing will happen to it. 

Sam. Well — s'pose something will happen to 
the money inside; s'pose it might vanish . . . 

Gypsy. Goosie. How can it vanish as long as 
I hold it in my hand? You watch me. Now 
give me the stocking. 

Sam (taking out stocking from drawer and 
handing it over). There it is, but let me tell 
you .... 

Gypsy (taking stocking over, pounds it softly, 



12 

presses and feels the contents while talking). 

Now be very still, don't cough, nor talk, nor 

spit, nor stir (makes mysterious sign with 

hand, speaks with low, conjuring- voice) Bab- 

bara — Dabbara — doolie the foolie — Hun- 

ko du punko da baggo di mulie . . . There, 

that has fixed it. Now put it back into the 

drawer. 
Sam (putting stocking back in drawer). So 

that makes it safe against the magic charm. 

And now, how may I get my treasure? 
Oypsy. I'll tell you if you give me half of it. 
Sam (scratching back of his ear). Half, did 

you say? That's too much. I can't do it. 
Gypsy. Then promise me one third of it. 
Sam. The third part? The whole third part of 

it? I can't do it. It would make me as poor 

as a beggar. 
Gypsy. All right, I'll believe you. Give me 

one fourth of it and I'll tell you how to get 

it. 
Sam. I would still be losing money in the 

transaction. Can't you do it for less? 
Gypsy. Not a cent less, you pinch-belly. 

Promise me, or I'll sink your hidden treasure 

into the abyss where no man can get it. 
Sam (sighingly). Well, if it can't be helped, 

ril promise 3^ou one fourth of it. 



13 

Gryps3'- ^ow listen: there are $10,000 in that 
treasure. I'll get $2500 and your part will 
amount to ST500. Now look here (draws from 
her pocket a porcelain nestegg). I'his is the 
egg of a cockatrice, a magic bird laying one 
egg like this once in hundred years. There 
is a magic cockerel in it that may be hatched 
out inside of three hours by a man and a 
woman sitting alternately on it. But mark 
you, everybody has to be as quiet as a grave- 
yard while hatching it, always muttering to 
himself these magic words, Babbara- Dabba- 
ra — doolie the foolie — Hunko du Punko da 
baggo di mulie. — Say it! 

Sam. That's easy — Babbara— Dabbara bother 
the mulie .... 

Grypsy. Hold on, that's all wrong. You'll spoil 
the charm by saying it wrong. This way : 
Babbara — Dabbara — doolie the foolie — 
Hunko du Punko da bagga di mulie, 

Sam (repeating after her). Dabbara — babbala 
doodle the poodle .... 

Grypsy. Wrong again. Both of us will say it 
together: Babbara — Dabbara — doolie the 
foolie — Hunko du Punko da baggo di mulie 
. . . Once more (both repeat as above). 

Sam. Ha! now I know it, Babbara — Dabbara 
that's it, eh ? 



14 

Gypsy. Exactly. Now, you'll succeed. After 
you have sat on the egg for an hour, I'll sit 
on it for another hour, and then your turn 
will come again, and the result — a lively 
cockerel will burst the shell and jump out. 

Sam. The dickens, you say. A real cock that 
scratches and crows? 

Grypsy. Just as I say. He will crow and jump 
three times and with the third jump will hit 
the exact spot where the treasure is hidden. 
Then you'll have to jump after hini. 

Sam (jumps). Like this, I s'pose (jumps away 
from table). 

Grypsy (jumps). No, like this (jumps toward 
table) 

Sam (jumps ag-ain farther away table, turning 
back on Gypsy). Aha, I understand now, it 
is like this (makes one more jump away). 

Gryysy. Exactly. Now you've got it. On the 
very spot where the rooster crows for the 
third time you must dig a hole until you find 
the treasure and you'll be a very rich man. 

Sam (triumphantly). I'll be rich — very rich. . . . 
Hurry up and let me hatch. 

Grypsy. In a moment (builds some kind of a 
coarse nest in a convenient place where the 
audience may watch the proceedure of hatch- 
ing and puts egg in). This is the nest. . . . and 



15 

this is the hatching- egg . . . Now sit on it and 
start hatching. 

Sam (sitting on nest, awkwardly). Am I sitting 
right? 

Gypsy. Don't press too hard on the egg^ but 
keep it warm and cosy. — There, that'll do. 

Now look straight in that corner, don't move 
your eyes in any other direction — don't stir, 
or something may happen to you. Under- 
stand ? 

Sam (nods). Hmhm. 

Grypsy. Now start your charm, Babbara — Dab- 
bara .... 

Sam. Babbara — Dabbara — doolie the foolie — 
Hunko du Punko da baggo di mulie (repeats 
continuously in a low, conjuring voice). 

Gr3Tsy (takes stocking from drawer while she 
speaks). Good — very good — excellent — 
keep it up for an hour — don't look about 
you, look straight in the corner. I'll leave 
you for a while but will be back again when 

your time is up Don't break the egg, 

you dunce, or you'll never get the treasure 
(exit left). 

Sam (in a low and drawling voice). Babbara — 
Dabbara (and so forth) 
(Pause). 

Gertie (enters, looks about). I wonder where 



16 

Sam is staying so long. Maybe he is digging 
somewhere else .... Why, there he is taking 
iteas3\ While I am digging for all I am 
worth, he is resting. Shame on you, Sam. 

Sam. Babbara — Dabbara— doolie the foolie — 
Hunko du Punko — da baggo di mulie. 

Gertie. What's that? I declare, Sam, 'you are 
taking it awful easy. 

Sam. Habbara — Babbala — du babble du bab- 
ble.... 

Gertie. That isn't so, I am not babbling; I've 
been working hard at digging for the treas- 
ure. What's the matter with :you? Why 
don't you get up and be doing? 

Sam (vexedly) Babbala — Dabbala — doing and 
fooling and muling. . . . 

Gertie (shakes him). Oh the mischief, he has 
gone crazy . . , My Sammy has gone crazy. 
The treasure has turned his mind. He is 
talking foolish things — all out of his senses. 
Dear me, o dear me . . 

Sam (mad). Dabbara — Babbara — doolie the 
foolie — (shakes her hand off). Hunko du 
Punko da baggo di mulie. 

Gertie (soothingly). No, Sam, you don't have 
to beg the mulie cow ... I know just what 
you mean. Poor husband! Come, get up, 



17 

sit on a chair. . . . Try to remember where 
you are Dl call the doctor for you. 

Sam (enraged, loud). Babbala — babbala — 
babbala -- dabbala (swings arms about him- 
self, endeavoring to scare her away). 

Gertie. Oh, Sam, don't act that way Do 

you know me? Tell me w^ho I am, can you? 
Try hard to remember me, will you! 

Sam (still louder). Dabbala — babbala — let 
me alone, will you ? — Doolie the foolie — 
get away — Punko the Hunko — get out of 
here — foolie the mnlie. 

Gertie (exitedly). Now^ you are getting to be 
real mean, Sam. You are calling me names — 
I won't stand it. Get up here (kicks at him) 
you lazy dog . . . Trying to hit me, are you? 
Get up and be stirring about (jerks and pulls 
at his arms) or I'll set my spade working on 
you. 

Sam (roaringly). Babbara — Dabbara — doolie 
the foolie. Hunko du punch you in the head 
if you don't go (jumps up and takes attitude 
of striking her) get — or I'll throw you into 
the middle of next year, do you hear? 

Gertie (screaming) Help — help — he wants 
to kill me — he is gone real mad — help — 
help! 

Sam (scolding). There, you spoiled everything 



18 

— wouldn't listen or take a hint. That's just 
how you are, always butting into other peo- 
ple's business (points to nest). Don't you see? 
Don't you understand? I've been hatching 
the lucky egg. Now the charm is spoiled 
and the treasure is sunk to regions unknown. 

Gertie (aghast). He is still wandering in his 
mind. 

Sam. Ah, stop that foolish babble, nobody is 
wandering altho it would have been great 
luck if you had wandered, as I motioned you to 
No word was I to say, I had to keep mum 
still — and, there, some evil spirit sends you 
in here to disturb me. 

Gertie. What did I do? nothing. What makes 
you hatch like an old gander on a porcelain 
nestegg? What's the idea? 

Sam. Wife, can't you comprehend? I was to 
hatch out the magic rooster which was to 
show me where the treasure is hidden .... 
That's what I was doing. 

Gertie. And I thought you were to meet me in 
the pigsty and help me dig for the treas- 
ure .... 

Sam. I was intending to, but the Gypsy who 
came in here after you left told me all about 
it and gave me this lucky egg (takes up egg 
and shows it to her). 



19 

Gertie. Why, Sam, that's just a common por- 
celain nestegg — nothing lucky about that. 
She has been making a fool of you. 

Sam. A fool ? (stares at egg and then at her). 
A fool, you say? Where is that Gypsy 
woman? where is my^money stocking? (pulls 

out drawer in table). Gone! — Gone! 

No, she is not fooling me; she has foretold 
just such a thing: as soon as the charm gets 
spoiled, she says, your money will vanish, 
and it has vanished (wringing hands above 
his head) Oh .... I am ruined, I'm a poor 
man — a poor sod-clogger once more. 

John (enters, remains at entrance). 

Gertie. You let her take your money away from 
you? That's what you did? — That's just like 
the two-legged ass you are . . . 

Sam. You are right this time, I have been an 
ass — I have always been a donkey. I never 
again shall hatch out a lucky egg. I'm thru 
with that foolery. 

Gertie. Oh; I see now, that's why you were 
talking about mules and fools when I came 
in . . . That's what you meant, haha! 

John. Did that Gypsy skin you, Sam? Well, 
I chased her out here before you came in and 
believed you were safe; but 1 see I was mis- 



30 

taken. One can never trust a fool. Well, 
after all, it serves you right. 

Sam. Stop kidding me, John. I have paid 
dearly for the things I do not know, don't 
you see? 

John. True it is, but you'll never get wise, I am 
afraid. 

Sam. I'll show you, John (steps in center of 
stage). Give me your hand (takes John by 
the left hand). Right here I will make an 
everlasting promise (takes Gertie's right hand 
with his left hand). I promise and intend to 
keep it that I shall never again dig for a 
treasure or hatch a lucky egg except by hon- 
est labor and wise economy. 

Gertie and John (while curtain drops). So be 
it. 



End. 



